Giving in to the Pull
Like I mentioned in my post yesterday, this weekend’s topics center around religion.
I always had this guard up in my life when anything faith-related was around me. It was just not something I was ever interested in learning more about. I guess it could have been a combination of bad approaches, or maybe I was just simply not ready to listen.
I always thought I knew it all, knew what was best for me, and knew what I needed in my life. Prison has a funny way of reminding you where you came from and where you didn’t go, a nice taste of humility.
It wasn’t until I actually started working a treatment program; that I finally took a closer look at certain elements in my life, and religion was one of them.
RDAP wasn’t a faith-based program, so I didn’t quite have a heavy pull towards God during it, but it laid the groundwork. Over the year that I was in RDAP, many small and big miracles happened that I was able to reflect on later and acknowledge.However, it was when I joined a faith-based program when I started to lean in and listen, and think about where I was at with my relationship with God and where I wanted to go. After a few months of meetings and listening to other members and how God has been working in their lives, answering prayers, and giving them a different perspective in their daily lives, I knew I had to do something on my own.
I have taken baby steps, but it’s still more progress than I have made in the previous 33 years, so it’s a start. Each time I share my thoughts out loud in a group setting, I feel a stronger pull or satisfaction and know that I am moving in the right direction.
I have also started to take notice of the things that happen in my daily life that have to be more than simply coincidences, they are what I have come to know as evidence, but I will discuss that more in tomorrow’s post.
I just got a letter today from my friend’s mom, Diane, and it had a piece in there that spoke to me, “Faith is not about everything turning out okay, faith is about being okay no matter how things turn out.”
It sums up my situation very well, and it just happens to be the attitude I’ve taken in tackling my incarceration. Even though for all these years I haven’t been talking to God or asking him for any help, I think plenty of other people has been asking him for me.
I was always under the assumption that things will just work out for me no matter what, and they have for the most part, of course besides the incarceration. Even that has worked out pretty well and went by pretty smoothly. I thought I was always doing it on my own and I had gotten this far by being strong but I am starting to think there is more to it.
I promise from this point on I will start listening and stop resisting, I will give in to that pull and let it happen.
Thanks for listening!
Morgan jumping in here! This is a video my soon-to-be sister-in-law, Brig, sent me randomly one day around Christmas time of 2018. She was getting out of gymnastics coaching late one night and Keith from 98.5 KTIS started talking about someone and she all of a sudden had this feeling he was talking about Noah.
So she turned her camera on and recorded it and sure enough it was! Keith was reading one of Noah’s letters and ended it in prayer over him. I had no idea this was happening and when she sent it to me I basically bawled my eyes out.
All I could think about was how many people were also in their car praying over him within the Twin Cities during this song too. How cool is that to think about?!
Unfortunately, I can’t share this audio with Noah… but I can’t wait until he hears it one day upon release. I remember emailing him and telling him to call me right away and once he did, I vividly remember our conversation.
One of the things I told him was is that “this is no coincidence, Noah. If you don’t believe in God yet, he’s smacking you right in the face.”
And from that day on, he started to see and believe that all of these “coincidences” that were happening in his life can’t be just coincidences anymore! And our conversation on God and religion has only gotten stronger since this conversation last year.
You can find the letter from Noah that Keith shared on the radio here: A Letter from a Prisoner