So, I believe humor has a place everywhere…work, home, church, treatment, out with friends, and especially in prison.
I have felt this way my whole life, and I have gotten carried away with it more than my fair share of times. I have been disruptive in class at a young age and had to be removed; I have taken jokes too far, overstepped boundaries, invaded personal space, and repeatedly pushed boundaries just to find out where they are.
I often wonder if I will ever grow up or even if there is a need to. Now there are certain things I take serious and that is my relationships, being a father (even if it’s a temporarily absent one), treatment, and my health. That’s about it, and I like to work in humor to all the previously stated situations. Let’s talk about the situation at hand and how I have used humor over the past six years to cope with my situation.
Too often, I see others complaining about their situation, but I have yet to see that get anyone anywhere other than in a terrible mood, which creates a toxic environment. Why not joke around and make the best of even the worst situations? As far as I am concerned, the more I can do, to bring a smile to the people around me, the better. I have been told ever since I was a kid that I will or should be a standup comedian, and who knows my life isn’t over yet, and that would be something I would be interested in trying.
I have continued to hear those comments while incarcerated, and I have been encouraged to write down some of the rants I perform, which I have. When I first got locked up, someone told me prison is one big homosexual joke, and I didn’t quite understand what they meant, but I had a good idea and soon found out it was true. I am not just talking about the homosexual sex that obviously happens but more how everyone acts and what everyone jokes about. When I was putting together material for this post, I went to my buddy Joe and asked him to think back to some funny stuff we have done over the years, and he started naming them off, and 90% of them were pretty homophobic.
They ranged from penis jokes to penis origami, making a penis using a towel and planting it around foodservice, or carving penis’s out of cucumbers (which looked way to realistic by the way). I was once encouraged by Joe to call home on April Fool’s Day and tell my mom I am homosexual, and he said she wouldn’t know it’s April Fool’s because the day fell on Easter. I didn’t do it because I was worried that she would believe me. Joe said he called home, told his ex-wife he was being released three years ahead of schedule (which didn’t make her happy and possibly nervous), he told his two daughters that YouTube went bankrupt, and they won’t be able to watch their cat videos, but then had to bail out once they started crying.
I have seen guys do anything related with their junk to running copies of it on a copy machine, pulling their testicles out of their waistband and asking unsuspected victims if they could tell them if it’s a hernia or not, the list goes on and on. Obviously some of these behaviors need to be worked out of the system before being released, some of this stuff might not go over too well in today’s workforce. How about the time someone wrote jack me off on the sign-out sheet and waited for the CO to call for jack me off repeatedly over the PA system because he didn’t sign back in. Or there’s the fart zooka (someone farts in an oatmeal container and then asks someone to open it), we put water in seats and try to get someone to sit in it.
One of my personal favorites is finding a funnier looking version of someone and then wait until they are both in the same room and start calling your friend’s name while looking at his (usually) less attractive or out of shape doppelganger. Another one of my favorites is to yell someone’s name and then pretend it wasn’t me; after a while, the response is, “you don’t think I know your voice by now, Noah.”
Ya, we might be really childish in here, but we get lots of laughs, and it takes our minds away from reality. Some other funny stuff we have done lately is taking ridiculous pictures at the gym on Thursdays, Joe and I have grown out mustaches, do corny prison poses that are meant to look tuff but usually fall short. My last two picture sessions were with my buddy Alonzo who has a similar personality, and we took pictures, where we just rotate between hard prison poses and sexuality questioning. It’s all in good fun, and everyone on the compound knows that I am a little out there and accept me for who I am.
Thanks for listening!