So in prison, we have a uniform that we have to wear from 8:15 am until recall at 3:45 pm, unless we are going to the yard or the gym, in that case, we can wear shorts and a T-shirt or sweats.
Our uniform is Khakis, and usually, inmates will have their work khakis and their visiting khakis.
Inmates like to keep their khakis fresh and pressed or clean, as some inmates might say. I only keep my visiting khakis presentable, because the work one I will sweat, spill, or bleed on depending on the day (I work in Chow Hall).
So creases in Khakis is a cool thing in here. Some inmates like to put creases in their khakis, and that is fine by me, but some get carried away.
Pleated pants, okay, they look like dress pants I can see that the crease down the back of the shirt, ya I am used to that one too.
Then we move to the front and start putting creases in the front, that connect with the pants, how about two in the front, how about making a fence print on the back on your shirt…come on now.
Let me tell you about a time I got my shirt ironed when I was early on in my prison career…
I had a visit coming, and I washed my visiting uniform and asked another inmate if I could give him a couple of mackerels (money) to iron my khakis.
I then take them off and when I come back later it’s hanging on my bunk and there are creases on the front of the shirt, where there were none before, and I snapped. I thought he was pulling one on me, and I started yelling F*** this F*** that, and went on and on, threw my clothes on the floor, and my roommates just looking at me like, what the hell is wrong with this guy.
Talk about a cry for help; I was freaking out about creases in the front of my khaki shirt. I mean, get a hold of yourself, buddy, imagine what would have happened at this point in my life if something happened that actually mattered.
When I finished throwing my fit, my roommate goes, “so Noah is it safe to assume that you don’t like creases.” I looked at him, eyes wild, “I fucking hate creases.”
It’s safe to say I have come a long way since that inmate who lost his mind over some creases in his khakis; now, I just don’t like creases. More recently I voiced my opinion to someone down in RDAP how I felt about creases and how they make people look like clowns, and only morons wear creases, and I wasn’t getting an agreeable reaction from him, and I realized why when I looked more closely at the fresh-pressed creases in his shirt, and then he got up and walked away, and there was the prison fence crease design on the back as well.
It’s safe to say I didn’t make a friend that day, and I also learned to just keep some opinions to myself.
Thanks for listening.