Prison Remedies | Noah’s Story

Prison Remedies | Noah Bergland | construction2style

Hey guys, Noah here.

Over the years I have heard a handful of prison remedies to get over an illness. I am not proud to admit I have acted on a couple, before realizing how stupid they were, simply out of desperation.

One of those is eating a glob of Vic’s vapor rub while battling a cold. I was thinking about that incident the other day at work and I thought it would make an interesting topic, so I found some very colorful characters at work that know everything there is to know about life, love, and happiness.

The first guy is Bun Dog, yes I said that name right, and would a guy that goes by that name willingly steer you wrong? ha!  Absolutely not. And he has a elixir that will get you back on your feet faster then anything you can get over the counter.

First take 10 cough drops, and make sure they are the cheap ones, “cheaper the better” he says, and you put those in some 180 degree water and let them dissolve. Once they are completely dissolved grab a glob of Vic’s and throw it in, then tip in a shot of Dayquil or Nyquil (Nyquil preferred). Last but not least take 3-4 yellow (drowsy) allergy tablets, crush them up, and throw them in. Cool down if necessary, but the hotter it is, the more affective it will be. I don’t think it’s appropriate to say what Bun Dog named this drink but lets just say it involves you passing out and waking up with a sore bum.

Other healing prison elixirs include; tea, honey, cough drops, and vitamin C. You want to hear another one I tried that I am not proud of? That is a way to remove toil nail fungus, and you will never guess what it includes, well you may have guessed it. It’s Vic’s.

Prison Remedies | Noah Bergland | construction2style

I was convinced that you can cut off your toenail and then apply Vic’s to the infected area, and continue to do so until the toenail completely grows back clean as a whistle. My toe fungus on my right foot has haunted me for years and I figured what the hell. But I guess was dumb enough to believe it, and desperate enough to try it.

So I took a single use razor, broke the blade out, and continued to try and cut off my toenail. Once I had cut eat side of the cuticle multiple times and the bleeding was getting to a ridiculous level, I said I’m good.

Ya, I know what you are thinking and this does not rank at the top of my proudest moments. Last but not least we have Dr. Terry, who is hear to sell you on the healing property of copper. These healing properties have been around since the Egyptian days, they knew the healing powers and would actually bury their dead with it, to keep… I have no idea what… away, and I am not even sure if this is at all accurate, but Dr. Terry guaranteed it but in fact is.

You feel a cold coming on, simply rub a piece of copper in your nose and the cold is gone, 10-15 minutes tops. Some other cold hard facts about copper are over 125 different virus’s die when coming into contact with the metal.

Also, every remedy starts with copper, he didn’t have any facts to back this statement up but it sounded good. So, buy a piece of copper from Dr. Terry and he promises he can turn your 5 day colds into 2 days, or your money back. Dr. Terry’s assistant said there was actually a guy that used to sell these copper pieces and sold, millions of them, and made millions of dollars. He’s not sure whatever happened to that guy, but knows he is a rich man today. I told him he probably took that money and filed bankruptcy for when the law suits started to file in.

That’s all I have today, just thought I’d give you all a good laugh by sharing some of the many ridiculous remedies we try in here to heal us. 

From the inside, 
Noah

Prison Remedies | Noah Bergland | construction2style

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[…] then you have Robotusin if you have chest congestion, cough drops, nasal spray, and Vics chest rub (which I talk about Prison Remedies in one post). I think that about covers […]