Is it only in prison when people ask you how much weight have you lost, and then someone tells you you are getting fat, both in the same day?
That’s what it’s like in prison.
People teasing people. All day, everyday. And that negative energy can have a pull on you.
Hey guys, Noah here back again to talk about something we’ve never talked about before… the effect of incarceration and the insecurities it brings out in you. Like actual weight, for example.
Some choose to comment and some choose to keep it to themselves.
But one thing for sure is, everyone is watching.
Routine is our life in here and anything that breaks it up, some think is evil (or it’s a chance to do something differently and then you have that much more judgment against you). If you stick to your routine, you’ll simply fly under everyone’s radar.
Not just weight, but other things inmates obsess over…. and these go for themselves and others around them, as inmates we have a lot of time to think and a lot of time to observe others actions around them.
Some of those things are haircuts or the need for one, eating, sports techniques, workout techniques, the way people talk, prison fashion, tv shows, how you look going to visiting (ironed up and nice boots), the newest shoes and boots, the a/c unit, germ phobia, food, losing weight, gaining weight, the list goes on and on.
In prison, if you have insecurities, they will come out. And if they don’t, just wait, other fellow inmates will find something for you to be insecure about. And soon you’ll be insecure about something.
I would consider myself a fairly secure person. But I still can’t help but be irritated when you hear something negative about yourself regularly.
Just the other day in the TV room they were talking about insecurities on TV, and the guy in front of me turned around and said, Noah, you don’t have any insecurities do you?
So now you can guess where the topic came up and why I’m talking about this today.
And I turned to my buddy who knows my insecurities well and told him to just say it, and he goes, “Hey, Yo, Big Head.”
In prison, there are no boundaries; this is because you can say pretty much anything in here and get away with it. So it only encourages people to continue with the chaos and negativity. On a regular basis.
I guess that’s why my sister keeps saying, I need to surround myself with good energy while I’m in here. I wish I could hear that from her on a regular basis.
From the inside,
Noah
Hey Deaune!
Thank you for commenting and for supporting us through all this. You’re awesome. Was waiting for Noah’s response and here it is…
“I have only been in county and federal prison but yes, county jail is the hardest time anyone could do outside of solitary confinement. Simply because you have the one added luxury of cellmates for company. I hear the “Feds” is more comfortable then many state joints, however, most people say that state time goes faster because there is more going on.
I will take boring for more safety though.
In the near future I will be taking my blog posts into the prison life that I experience at a higher security behind the fence at Milan, MI, as well as camp life here at Yankton, SD.
However, to answer the questions asked some of the “perks” there is phone (300 minutes allowed), computer (email @ 5cent/min.), MP3, AM/FM radios, TV’s available with basic cable. Recreation both at Yankton and Milan have various hobby crafts (leather/band/painting and drawing/beading/fly tying), a softball field, inside and outside basketball court, inside and outside handball/racquetball courts, outside sand volleyball pit, weight room(s), various workout/aerobic/yoga equipment, outside track with built-in workout stations (pull-up and dip bars/sit-up stations/etc.) and pool tables.
I currently live in a twelve man room, which has six on each side divided by lockers, but it’s open into one big room. Throughout my time in the BOP I have lived in two man cells, open dorm settings, six man rooms, and eight man rooms. When you are behind the fence, people don’t leave as frequently but when you are at a camp people come and go almost every single day. There is a daily sheet that comes out called the “call out sheet” and that posts places individuals needs to be the following day, along with classes that are starting on that day, and bunk moves that are affective on the day posted.
I have seen thousands of inmates go home in my six years, but the only one that draw any type of emotions are the ones you get close to or the ones you despise, and by this I mean someone you really didn’t get along with. I will discuss this in the future.
As far as pat searches and cell searches it depends on what has been going on lately, when the inmate population is misbehaving then the searches become more often. Every officer has his/her personal preferences of how they spend their shift and some enjoy searching more then others. Yankton has more cell searches and Milan had more pat searches on the compound, due to ten minutes moves, which again, I will also talk about in the near future. Good questions, Deaune and I really appreciate these. Any more you have, I’m an open book. And if anyone else has any questions, please send them! -Noah”
Awesome read Noah! I’ll start by Congratulating you on completing the Drug Recovery Program, that’s huge and I’m happy for you!
I hope in your writings you let us in on the “perks” such as use of computer, phone use, you mentioned ironing, and boots, etc… what is issued, required? What items can you purchase? How does canteen work? In Rec what equipment is available. How many cell mates to you have in your cell, and how many have come and gone?
These are a few of my curiosities. I work as a Corrections Officer in our County and often hear inmates say, “Prison is way easier”! Last question is how often are cell searches and pat downs done?
I am proud of your insights, and writings and know that in some way these must be therapeutic for you but I feel like you letting us in on your incarceration will give us a better understanding of confinement. Sometimes we judge, as an example “they don’t serve enough time”! Sometimes time is the biggest and harshest punishment!
I look forward to more “inside” blog stories! Thank you for letting us in and for your raw honesty!
Until next time,
Deaune