Adult friendships are like hidden treasures in the chaos of everyday life. They aren’t born out of circumstance or school schedules—they’re intentional. They’re the people you choose to grow with. And honestly? That choice makes them even more magical.
I know there are a ton of articles out there on how hard it is to make adult friends—and yes, it can be. But not enough people are talking about how special it is when you do find your people. Because when it happens, it hits different. It hits your soul.
These are the people who don’t just show up for the celebrations—they’re there for the hard stuff. They hear the tone in your voice and know you’re not okay. They’re the ones who come over with tacos, pour the wine, hand you tissues, and remind you you’re not alone. They know the version of you who’s thriving and the one who’s barely holding it together. And they love both equally.
Unlike the friendships of our childhood or college years, adult friendships aren’t always formed through forced proximity. These are relationships grounded in shared values, mutual respect, and a deep understanding of this wild phase of life. We don’t have time for surface-level. We crave real connection. Real presence. Real care.
And here’s the science behind why they matter so much: we literally feel better after we spend time with our people. According to Dr. Mindy Pelz, we get a dose of oxytocin—the love hormone—just from hugging, chatting with our best friends, or having a meaningful conversation. Oxytocin tells your brain that you’re safe and loved, that the storm has passed.
I’ve had days where I was overwhelmed, spiraling with stress, and a phone call with a friend changed everything. I could be furious about a conversation that happened earlier, but by the time I’m retelling it to my best friend, we’re both laughing. Because they get it. They get me.
Your adult friends are your biggest cheerleaders. They’re the ones who see your potential on the days when you forget it. My closest friend has supported me endlessly in my creative journey—reminding me I’m making an impact, even if it’s just for a few people. A good friend wants nothing from your success. They love you for who you are, not what you achieve. They show up for you not because of what you can offer—but because you make them laugh, feel seen, and feel safe.
These friendships also bring balance. Sometimes, we lean too hard on our partners or family members for emotional support. A great friend offers a different lens—a new way to look at life, work, parenting, or whatever it is you’re navigating. They’re sounding boards. They’re truth-tellers. They’re the middle-of-the-day texters who remind you to breathe.
And perhaps one of the most underrated gifts of adult friendships? The way they give you permission to just be—no explanation, no performance, no filter. As Brené Brown says, “True belonging doesn’t require us to change who we are; it requires us to be who we are.” That’s the magic of these friendships: they see the raw, unpolished, complicated version of us and say, “Yeah, I’m still in.”
Friendship, for me, became even more sacred after I started setting boundaries. This journey—sparked in part by getting sober—taught me how essential it is to protect my energy, time, and space. It wasn’t just about saying “no” to things that drained me; it was about saying a loud, powerful “yes” to the people who filled my soul. My friends became not only emotional support, but my safe spaces to grow, rest, and dream.
When I started evaluating who I was giving my time to, I realized something important: it’s not selfish to prioritize the people who bring you peace. It’s necessary. We weren’t meant to do this life alone. And as I started living more intentionally, I could see more clearly who stood beside me—without expectation, without conditions, just pure, mutual love.
This is why adult friendships are so important—not just for fun or support—but because they hold you accountable to your growth. They remind you who you are when the world is loud. They walk beside you when life gets dark. And they celebrate you when you start to shine again.
If you’re on your own journey of self-discovery or healing, audit your people. Pay attention to who energizes you and who leaves you depleted. The people who stick around through the real stuff—not just the highlight reel—those are your people.
There’s a quote that stuck with me: “Don’t set yourself on fire to keep others warm.” Boundaries helped me realize I don’t have to. And friendships helped me heal the parts of myself I once sacrificed in silence.
If you’re lucky, your closest friends are the ones who understand your vision, your mission, and your calling. They don’t just encourage your professional goals—they root for your whole heart. They’re with you for both work and play. These relationships are essential for thriving in every area of life.
The truth is, close friends come in many forms: old roommates, new neighbors, moms you meet at preschool drop-off, or even your siblings. What matters is how they make you feel. Seen. Known. Loved.
A favorite quote I return to often is: “A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you’ve forgotten the words.” That’s what these relationships do—they remind you of who you are when you’re too tired or lost to remember.
Find time for those people. Make room for them. Prioritize those connections like your well-being depends on it—because in so many ways, it does. They are your anchors and your lifelines. Your laugh-until-you-cry crew. Your no-judgment zone. Your chosen family.
So here’s to the ones we meet later in life—the friends who see us fully, cheer us on, and remind us we’re not alone in the beautiful chaos of adulthood.
