April 2023 marked a turning point in my life – a pivotal moment I didn’t fully recognize at the time. I wrote this blog post on the day I hit one year booze-free, and now, with more time behind me, I’ve realized just how important it is to share my thoughts from that milestone and reflect on everything I’ve learned since.
Six months into this journey, I shared a blog post titled A New Day Has Come, My Tattoo Journey, where I wrote about peeling back the layers and embracing vulnerability. At the time, I thought that reaching the one-year mark would come with some grand “ah-ha” moment – a neatly packaged epiphany tied with a bow. Spoiler alert: life doesn’t work that way. Growth is messy, ongoing, and rarely tied to a single moment.
Maybe that’s why I hesitated so long to hit publish on this post. I’m still learning, processing, and evolving. But today, I want to share what the last couple of years has taught me – not just about alcohol, but about boundaries, self-discovery, and what it means to live intentionally.
Alcohol as a Comfort Blanket
For years, alcohol was my go-to. Stressful day? “I deserve a drink.” Big celebration? “Let’s toast!” Nerves before a social event or speaking engagement? “Just one to loosen up.” It was there for the highs, the lows, and everything in between.
But what I didn’t realize was how much I relied on it to avoid truly feeling my emotions. Removing alcohol stripped away that comfort blanket. At first, it was uncomfortable—sometimes painfully so—but it also forced me to lean into those emotions instead of numbing them. That shift was freeing in ways I never expected.
Interestingly, I’ve found it’s not the alcohol itself that I miss—it’s the ritual of having a drink in hand. That act of sipping something—whether it’s a sparkling water, mocktail, or a beautifully presented glass of lemonade—still brings me comfort in social settings. It’s the essence of having something in your hand, not the alcohol itself, that often matters.
The “What Ifs” That Held Me Back
What if I’m no fun anymore?
What if I lose confidence in social settings?
What if people think I’m judging them for drinking?
Will I still be the last one standing on the dance floor?
What if no one invites me because there’s alcohol, and they now know I don’t drink?
SEX. Yep, I said it. I worried it wouldn’t be as fun.
Is everyone going to annoy the living daylights out of me now?
Will people assume I’m against drinking altogether?
Let’s be real—giving up booze comes with fears. What if I’m no fun anymore? What if I lose confidence in social settings? What if people think I’m judging them for drinking? Will I still be the last one standing on the dance floor? What if I stop getting invited to events because I don’t drink? SEX. Yep, I worried it wouldn’t be as fun. Would everyone annoy the living daylights out of me? Would people assume I’m against drinking altogether?
Turns out, most of those fears were nonsense. I’m still fun (even more so, if I do say so myself). My confidence has grown, not shrunk. And yes, I’m still the last one on the dance floor—sober, dancing my heart out, and having an absolute blast. That said, I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that there are still moments when I’m faking it. I’m not sure why yet—that’s something I’m still processing. I’ve learned little tricks along the way, like asking for my drinks to be served in regular drink glasses or giving bartenders a heads-up before I arrive. It’s a work in progress, and I’m here to own that.
What’s been surprising is that I don’t even crave alcohol anymore—not even a little. When friends and family pour a glass of wine or open champagne, there’s no part of me thinking, “Damn, I wish I had some.” Even when I see people post about “Dry January” and their struggles, I think, “That sounds awful!” And here I am, living booze-free, doing the damn thing. It’s a bizarre mental shift, but it’s also incredibly empowering.
Finding a New Fire
Without alcohol, I’ve discovered new ways to light up my life. Work, relationships, meaningful conversations, and personal growth now give me a natural high that feels more fulfilling than anything alcohol ever provided. There’s a fire inside me—something fierce, alive, and burning brighter than ever. It’s the kind of energy that makes me excited to wake up every day and tackle life with clarity and purpose.
The foggy or fuzzy mind that used to plague me after a night of drinking is now a thing of the past. Both my short-term and long-term memory have shown noticeable enhancements, contributing to an overall boost in mental clarity. Alcohol’s tendency to dull our senses impairs our ability to think sharply and process information effectively. This heightened self-awareness extends to my interactions with others and my surroundings, resulting in an overall improvement in my functionality across various aspects of life.
The Surprising Benefits
Without alcohol, I’m more present, decisive, and self-aware. Challenges arise (because life doesn’t stop being life-y), but now I face them head-on instead of pushing them aside for “later.” My anxiety has significantly decreased, and the foggy, sluggish mornings are a thing of the past.
I didn’t quit drinking to lose weight, but I did. That said, the comments about my appearance were a reminder of how tricky body talk can be. Let’s normalize complimenting people on their energy, confidence, or kindness instead of their weight—it’s a much kinder approach.
Sleep is another game-changer. With alcohol out of my life, I sleep deeply and wake up refreshed. Hangovers? No longer part of my vocabulary. My energy levels are through the roof, and I feel more productive and clear-headed than ever.
Speaking and Confidence
Public speaking was one of my biggest fears when I quit drinking. Alcohol always felt like a crutch to calm my nerves or help me feel more comfortable. But here’s the wild part: I’ve found speaking easier without it. My thoughts are clearer, my delivery is stronger, and I’ve even been told I’m “a natural.”
If you’re nervous about navigating social situations or public speaking booze-free, know this: the confidence you gain from showing up fully as yourself will far outweigh the temporary comfort alcohol used to bring.
Feeling All the Feels
Experiencing emotions without a numbing agent has been…interesting. Feeling joy, sadness, excitement, and stress in their pure forms is something I’ve had to relearn. It’s raw, but it’s real.
Feeling all the feels has been fun. HA! When feeling sad, alcohol can deepen that sadness. On the other hand, if one is joyful, alcohol can briefly intensify this emotion but may lead to a sudden descent into desolation if consumed excessively. Since I made the decision to give up the booze, I have become more attuned to and connected with my emotions. I am now able to manage and adjust my emotional responses more effectively, ensuring that my feelings are in sync with the circumstances. Although there are occasions when I may overreact or under react, I acknowledge my humanity. The difference now is that I possess a clearer understanding of what I am feeling and the reasons behind those emotions.
Without the fog of alcohol, I’m more present, more decisive, and more aware. Life still gets life-y, but now I face challenges head-on instead of saying, “I’ll deal with this tomorrow after a glass of wine.”
Without alcohol, emotions hit differently. Joy, sadness, stress—it’s all raw and real. But here’s the thing: feeling your emotions instead of numbing them builds resilience. You learn to ride the waves and come out stronger on the other side.
Leaning into gratitude has helped me navigate tough days. Surrounding myself with positive people who lift me up has been a game-changer. And I’ve learned to give myself grace—it’s okay to feel deeply, and it’s okay to take time to process.
Goodbye Anxiety (Mostly)
While I still have normal life worries, the constant undercurrent of anxiety I lived with has nearly disappeared. No more sleepless nights or waking up sweating over things I can’t control.
Ok, this alone has been my favorite thing in the world. I had some major anxiety, and had no clue that alcohol had so much to do with that. Granted, yes, I still have anxiety but there are no more sleepless nights and waking up in sweats with worries. I used to think that drinking would help me relax and calm my nerves, but in reality, it was only making them worse. Once I removed alcohol from my life, I noticed a significant decrease in my anxiety levels. It’s amazing how much clearer your mind becomes when you’re not under the influence of alcohol.
But let’s talk about the bigger picture here. Why do we rely on alcohol to cope with our emotions? It’s become such a normalized coping mechanism in our society that we don’t even question it anymore. But think about it, if we were to replace alcohol with any other substance – like drugs or cigarettes – as a way to deal with our anxieties, wouldn’t that be seen as a major problem?
Sleep Better, Have More Energy
Drinking can disrupt your sleep patterns, leaving you feeling tired and groggy the next day. And let’s not forget about the dreaded hangovers – headaches, nausea, and overall malaise that can ruin an entire day.
Healthier Relationships and Boundaries
Stepping away from alcohol has given me a new lens on my relationships. Some connections have grown stronger, while others have faded—and that’s okay. Setting boundaries has been a powerful part of this journey, and I’ve learned that it’s not selfish; it’s essential. I now surround myself with people who bring positivity and energy into my life, and I let go of anything (or anyone) that doesn’t align with my values.
That’s a “YOU” Problem. The issue or difficulty under discussion is the responsibility of the person indicated, and not the responsibility of the speaker.
The shift from drinking unveiled a new perspective on my social circle. Without the veil of alcohol, I noticed traits in certain people that irked me. It was a challenge to adjust, but I learned to prioritize my well-being over familiarity. Sobriety allowed me to gravitate towards like-minded individuals and establish healthier boundaries. Choosing to be alcohol-free has empowered me to curate a circle that aligns with my values and aspirations. I’ve discovered that I’m most authentic when I’m true to myself, guiding me to make intentional choices in my social connections.
Physical Appearance, Weight
I did not stop drinking in order to lose weight. Despite this, I did lose some weight when I stopped drinking. I’m not sure why. It just happens that way for some people. I received many unsolicited compliments on this weight loss, which was tricky, as I used to be underweight and have struggled with disordered eating in the past. This praise for my weight loss was a bit triggering, and I sought support from my therapist and support system to process it all. I mention this to ask that we all consider what we might not know when we risk commenting on someone’s body. It’s really always best if we don’t.
I can’t think of another substance that is shown to be addictive and harmful even in small amounts that is as societally normal to use as alcohol. Sure, lots of folks use THC and nicotine, but they have more social stigma than alcohol among most groups. I had never really thought much about how normalized drinking alcohol is until I stopped drinking it. We drink mimosas at brunch, a beer at lunch, and wine or liquor at dinner. We toast weddings and birthdays and promotions with champagne, a common gift to bring a party host is a bottle of wine, we drink particular alcoholic drinks on certain holidays, we pair activities like watching sports on TV or in person with drinking, we have big birthday parties when we turn 21 and are legally allowed to drink alcohol, and we call the time that bars and restaurants reduce the price of drinks “happy hour” for goodness’ sake. If you replace any other harmful or addictive substance with alcohol in these scenarios, it can make you really think about how we center alcohol so powerfully.
I’m one of the Lucky Ones
I get it, I’m one of the lucky ones. Is what I’ve been told. I don’t have any answers to this besides I always say – just like cancer, everyone has a stage of how bad it really is. Boozing is the same, and rock bottom looks different for everyone. Everything is comparative, so comparative to what? This is just my experience I’m sharing.
Do I miss the taste of a crisp Pinot Grigio on a summer day? Sometimes. But I don’t miss the foggy mornings, the anxiety, or the way alcohol dulled my light. Not once in the past year have I thought, “I wish I’d had a drink last night.”
This journey has been about so much more than giving up booze. It’s been about finding clarity, living with intention, and showing up as the best version of myself. If you’re considering making a similar change, know this: you’re capable of so much more than you realize.
Here’s to living boldly, feeling deeply, and showing up fully—one day, one choice at a time.
Let’s just say – not one morning goes by where I think, “gosh, I wish I would have drank last night.”
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