One thing I have learned through this journey, especially over the last couple of years as I have worked on my recovery, is many of the answers I was looking for were eventually answered by myself.
It was through digging deeper in discussions with therapy groups, writing about topics here on the blog, or by simply having a meaningful conversation with one of my peers.
Most times, my answers come out of my own mouth, or I will finish writing something and be like, “there it is.”
It’s amazing how it works, but it does; you learn about flaws you didn’t know you had or were refusing to look at, insecurities you didn’t know you were struggling with, reasons for past failures, and reasons for resentments you were holding on to for too long.
Writing teaches you more than self-compassion; it teaches you a lot about yourself. About who you are, and it can help you become who you want to be.
It helps you dive into your subconscious thoughts, and sometimes you can pull something out, and it’s presented to you in black and white. I have never kept a diary or journal, so some of you might be thinking, “okay, Noah, this is something we learned years ago when we were kids,” but I’m just finding it out now.
I had to come to prison to figure so much out because I was just too busy out there, or at least I thought I was to put any effort into self-discovery.
It’s never too late to start working on yourself, obviously the sooner, the better, because you never know what might hold you back in life, or send you down the wrong path. I thought I was on the right path all through high school and college because I was passing school, but if I had taken two seconds to look deeper at myself, I would have realized that my life being “on track” was so far from the truth.
But, if you feel your life is already too far gone, you’re drinking too much, using too much, your criminal record is too long, it’s still not too late.
Even for me, sitting in federal prison serving ten years, I am about to get released with a whole list of charges that are going to hold me back in certain aspects of life. One place they won’t hold me back is my relationships and myself…with my mom, siblings, and, most importantly, my daughter.
No matter how many charges I have, relationships I’ve screwed up, it’s never too late to take back your life. And if you’re wondering where to begin…just simply start by writing and I bet you’ll answer your question on where to start first as I have.
Thanks for listening,
Noah
