Hey! Noah here back again. We’ve talked about visitations in prison from both my personal perspective and Morgan has shared her perspective from an outsider visiting family, but today I wanted to touch on visitations in general and the pressure of them.
Visits are an exciting time for an inmate and that feeling when you get your name called never seems to lose the affect.
As for who visits, those people come and go, and some will only do it once so, appreciate them when you get them. If you are 500 plus miles from your home then don’t expect your family to come much because it’s a huge financial and time commitment to come see you.
Also, it probably isn’t very fun for people to come visit someone in prison, the stress levels are high, emotionally it’s taxing, and leaving is harder then you can imagine.
Some people say they don’t want to get visits and I think those people need to realize the visit might not always be about them. A wife needs to see her husband, and a kid needs to get to know and see their parent, regardless of the environment. I think those who tell their families not to come is a selfish act because they are still thinking about themselves and think it will be easier for them to do their time with minimal contact.
I guess that is the same thing I did with phone calls and letters in the first year of my incarceration, but I quickly realized it wasn’t the healthiest way to do my time. I make sure I don’t guilt people into coming to see me, although I may ask from time to time if they are planning on coming out again, I leave the ball in their court for the most part, and then encourage when they say they are thinking about coming.
Now getting too many visits may be much like getting no visits, you have to respect that both inmates have to do their time and a visit every single week is comparable to counting your prison time day by day, and you also have to respect that family and friends out their have a life. And just because you are locked up doesn’t mean that life is going to press hold.
So as an inmate I try to respect their time and don’t burden, guilt, or shame them into coming to see me. For an inmate the visit is an escape from the prison world or life, if you are at a higher up facility it could be a safe haven where you can relax and kick back and enjoy the day without looking over your shoulder.
At the lows and camps it’s simply just a time when you can stop thinking about prison life and the outdate that never seems to be close enough. You can eat a bunch of junk food, play terrible board games and card games with your visitor, take pictures, and that’s about it.
Some people don’t like to take pictures because they don’t want memories of prison but I don’t see the point in that. I have fun with it and when my buddies come we do stupid prison poses and other people in the visiting room always get a kick out of that. Sometimes, people in prison take everything too serious and visits are a way to get away from that and just be who you are.
Thanks for listening!
Noah
