Pregnancy Perspectives with my SIL

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 What’s better than being pregnant is being pregnant alongside your sister-in-law (SIL)! 

Jamie’s brother, Brent, tied the knot with Brigette last October, and we couldn’t be more excited to officially welcome her into the family … even though they’ve been dating much longer than Jamie and I have even known one another and was already apart of the family.

Brigette knew Jamie and I had been trying for baby number three long before their wedding, and honestly, we both thought I’d be pregnant at their wedding. And I knew Brig and Brent were on a mission to have babies sooner than later once they tied the knot. So for a while, Brig and I had been having some open conversations about all things babies for both of us. 

As you guys know, I had given up watching the clock, checking when I was ovulating when we had sex, and was just living our typical lifestyle. I was getting so bummed out by watching all of the things just to not get a missed period. It was like time was standing still, and I was tired of feeling discouraged. So I gave up watching that clock. 

Being Brig and Brent were newly trying, she was watching the clock, and being we had so many open conversations about all the things, she was watching the clock for me as well.

When I texted Brig a picture of the stick with something along the lines off…”Oh dear, I have no idea when I got pregnant, and I’ve enjoyed wine and ate deli meat!”

She quickly did her calculations and told me, “Don’t worry, you are only two weeks along!” Now that’s what sisters are for, haha! We quickly jumped on a call, shared laughs and tears, and all I could say was that I was praying she was about to share the same news with me and that she’d be calling me soon telling me her good news.

And low and behold two weeks later, she was! And we quickly figured out I was scheduled just two weeks ahead of her due date.

In the end, I couldn’t have wished for a better time to get prego than right alongside my SIL, and I’m so grateful to be on this journey with her.

This is Brigette’s first pregnancy, and this will be my third, so while we’re going through different experiences, however, some of the same firsts…such as being pregnant during COVID-19. 

Although Brigette and I are so much alike, we have our differences. We are two different people, have two different bodies, two different minds, perceptions, backgrounds, experiences, emotions, and we’ll have two different birth plans.

And guess what? All of these differences make us that much more informed, supportive, and appreciative, and makes our pregnancy journey even more fun to experience it all through one another. 

So we wanted to come together today and do a fun little blog post sharing our journeys, birth plans, and why we are choosing what we are for those of you that are pregnant and trying to navigate all of the decisions and make the best choices for you. There are SO many choices to make when it comes to having a baby, and we hope that through this blog post, you realize that YOUR choice is the right choice. We hope to shed some light on different pregnancy perspectives and why they are all a great choice! 

Trying to Conceive 

To track when you are ovulating or not?
To schedule when you have sex or not? 
When is the right time to try? 

Not Tracking when your Ovulating

Morgan here. As I mentioned in our announcement post, I was tracking for the first seven months of trying, and then I decided that was enough! Time felt like it was standing still, yet my days and months were just passing by. It seemed that was the only thing I was focused on, and I just wanted my life back before I really was pregnant, and that consumed my life all over again. So I said screw it and just lived our normal lifestyle. And what do you know, within two months I was pregnant.

The only scary thing then was I didn’t know when I actually conceived, and I started thinking about all the things I ate and drank. But my doctor quickly told me that it is just fine and not to be worried, which eased my mind. 

Tracking when your Ovulating

Brigette here. I think because this was our first and I’m 31; I didn’t want to do the “we’ll just wing it” thing. Morgan and I both have multiple friends who have struggled with fertility. In my mind, I knew that if we were tracking everything, we would be able to know if there was anything standing in our way of conceiving.

I’ve tracked my cycle for years because I don’t take birth control, and it was more of a preventative than anything else. Once we got married and knew we wanted to get pregnant, I continued to track when I was ovulating. I used an app on my phone but then added two more methods; ovulation sticks to track hormones and body temperature to see when it drops right before ovulation. Combining all of these was a bit of work, but for us, it paid off. I’ll be very honest, Brent and I had sex once during the window of ovulation in February and low and behold, it worked. 

Announcing You’re Pregnant!

Pregnancy announcements, this is another thing that is always on a momma’s mind…when to announce you’re pregnant! And then how to announce it?!

If you’d like to see how we announced our pregnancies for some ideas, here’s Brigette’s pregnancy announcement, and here’s how Morgan announced Greyson’s, Beckam’s, and baby girl’s (can’t remember how we announced Greyson’s…)

Shouting it out Right Away

I think Morgan and I have a similar mindset on this topic. We’ve shared with one another right away; no matter what happens, we would need our close family and friends for support, whether it’s through the first trimester of morning sickness, exhaustion, excitement, and hormonal mood swings. Or, if something does go wrong and we lost our baby. We are both open books and believe that shedding light on difficult situations can help not feel alone in what they are going through. 

Being completely honest, we wouldn’t be able to hide it from our friends even if we tried. Twelve weeks is a long time to keep such a big secret. Whenever any of our girlfriends don’t order a drink with dinner or have a drink at a get-together, we immediately ask them if they are pregnant. Lying is not a strong suit for either of us.

Waiting after 12 Weeks

We both run blogs, and we both did, however, wait until after our 12 weeks to fully announce to the public! Not necessarily because we wouldn’t have let our readers and audience know, but more-so, we wanted the cute picture from our ultrasound. 

It really does feel good getting the comfort of going and hearing that heartbeat for the first time. There are a lot of emotions with pregnancy and a lot of outside noise. Although we would both share if we miscarried, that’s also a lot to digest personally and publicly all at once and in such a short amount of time. 

It’s also nice to enjoy those first 12 weeks celebrating solely with your family and close friends. 

Body Types

Showing

I swear the second I peed on the stick; I was showing. There was no hiding this baby bump, come baby #3! I started spilling the beans long before the “safe” 12 weeks because anyone that saw me was for sure wondering what was going on. Although I didn’t officially announce until moving into trimester two, I looked like I did when I was six months pregnant with the boys at eight weeks with this one. And honestly, I’m not mad about it. I’ve never had a super flattering midsection, so the only time in my life I can wear fitted clothes and look good in them is when I’m pregnant, ha! 

Not Showing

Brigette here…and I wish I were showing! I keep looking down and trying to decide if that’s a little baby bump or just the bump I’ve always had. I know because this is my first pregnancy, it will take longer. I’ve learned that my uterus is slowing stretching, whereas since Morgan has been pregnant, her body already knows what to do, and it doesn’t take as long to adjust or prepare for the growing baby. Now that I’m 13 weeks, I can notice, but that’s because my pants feel tighter. 

Gender Reveal

To find out the gender of your baby or not, that is always the big question! And how do you announce it?! Brig and I are both going different ways. I’m finding out while she is waiting, and here’s why. 

And here’s how Morgan announced the gender for Greyson, Beckam, and baby girl for your own ideas! 

 

Finding out the Gender

First, I (Morgan) am the most impatient person ever. Pregnancy is also not my most favorite thing in the world, so anything that can bring some joy and happiness to my life over the 10 months, I’m all about. You typically find out the gender around five months, so for us, it’s been a fun little moment to get us to the finish line. 

Jamie and I have been on the same page with this since baby one, so we never had to do any convincing of one another to get on the same page. There is nothing more exciting than meeting your baby when you deliver, and that anticipation is enough for us! There’s also the feeling and emotion that I can’t explain, but for us, the second I found out what the gender of our baby was, it was a whole new level of connection to us.

I felt like I could truly get to know our baby on another level, talk to him or her, start really narrowing down on our names and being we have two little boys, we can help them get to know their little sister before the arrival. There’s nothing I love more right now than when Greyson or Beckam make a reference to their sister. Had we not known the gender, I don’t think they’d be talking the same and referencing all the fun they are going to have with her. 

Not Finding out the Gender

When I (Brigette) start thinking about my future and babies, I think about how I want to raise a kick-ass girl. I feel in my heart that I’m meant to have a daughter. I want a girl so badly that I’ve been trying to find all the positives of having a boy. So here I am being vulnerable, I fear that finding out the gender early might cause a little disappointment.

You guys, gender disappointment is real. I looked it up because I thought I was being ridiculous. Gender disappointment doesn’t mean we aren’t going to love our babies equally no matter what, it’s just a shift in our mindset of what the future may look like. I know there will be no disappointment once our sweet baby is out and in our arms, so we’re waiting. I also had a friend recently tell me that in the moments of contractions and birth, the excitement of finding out is also a huge motivator! 

Names

To publicly share or not to share the long or short list of names you are thinking about? Another big question and one you’ll get asked. Here’s a full blog post we did on the top Gender Neutral Names to spark some ideas for you. 

Share

With all of my (Morgan) pregnancies, whenever people asked what names we were thinking of and if we were sharing or not I did always share the long list of names. But, I can totally see why people do not. Because without fail, everyone chimed in with their comments on whether they liked those names or not. And if they didn’t, you could see it on their face. 

And the same goes for this time around. When people ask, I share. And I’m definitely getting the comments and suggestions, but honestly, they don’t bother me. And some of the suggestions have been pretty good ones.

Greyson the other day said his top names were Jazzy and Lincoln. I don’t know where either of those names came from but I really do like Lincoln, however, Jamie isn’t about that for a girl’s name. Right now my top names are Stevie (after my dad who passed), Pauline (after my amazing Great-Grandpa), Poppy, Piper, Reece, and Charlie. Jamie, however, isn’t a huge fan of any. 

Keep it a Secret

And meanwhile I (Brigette) will more than likely share but I haven’t yet. Brent, my husband, wants to come up with his own names and he hasn’t gotten to that list yet. And I don’t want my list of names to alter his judgment. How fun would it be if we happened to come up with the same one? So until he comes up with his list, which could be when the baby is born at this rate, it’ll be a secret. 

Birth Plan

Vaginal

Brigette here! I guess I’ve always wanted to have a natural labor and delivery, but I didn’t know why until recently. First, I love to push my body to the limit, so that is one driving force. I also try to avoid medication as much as possible because of the side effects. In reading about pain medications during labor, I’ve learned that they can cause nausea, drowsiness, headaches, high or low blood pressure, back pain, breathing difficulty, and can also interfere with breastfeeding. I want to enjoy labor but even more so the moments after, without any side effects.

I have also found a lot of faith in that our bodies were literally created for this. Women were intricately created to grow a human so we must also be created to give birth to that human. It will be no easy task and I’m researching and reading all sorts of books on how to remove the fear from labor and techniques to get through the pain. If you’ve had a natural labor and have any advice, send it my way! 

C-Section

Morgan here! Unfortunately, I haven’t had the best birth stories with our first two babies. With Greyson, our first, I was in labor for over 10 hours and it was really scary. Greyson’s heartbeat kept completely dropping to a flat line, my blood pressure was high, it’s hard to even think about that day.

Then Beckam’s delivery came and I had a scheduled c-section, and again, more complications. My body was rejecting the drugs and I had to be completely put under. 

Another reason why Jamie was content with two babies as he said both of those were some of the scary moments for him and he didn’t want to relive that again. I had no idea I was gone for so long with Beckam, and there he was holding our crying baby for hours because he was hungry, and just waiting for my milk. That made me really sad! 

I’ve spent a lot of time rethinking what if I would have done this or that with our first pregnancy, would this all be different. But at the end of the day, to me, it doesn’t matter how our babies get here as long as they are healthy and happy. I can’t change the past, and all I can do is focus on our doctor know best and they’ll take good care of our little baby and us. 

So, here we are, and here go again. Being it’s my third and I’ve had complications in the past my doctor said c-section is the way to go, which I am just fine with.  All I ask in my birth plan is that our little girl gets into mine or daddy’s arms immediately. And our love is all we need. 

Your Choice is the Right Choice

And remember, whatever choice you choose throughout your entire pregnancy, your choice is the right choice! There are so much outside noise, opinions, and choices to be made throughout the pregnancy and after and as long as your baby is here and healthy, that’s all that matters.

Immediately following delivery, there are a lot of other big choices to make, when to introduce your baby, how to introduce your baby and if they have siblings how to meet one another?

Here’s how we introduced Greyson & Beckam.

Introducing Greyson to Beckam was one of my favorite memories in the world. But also a choice that weighed heavy on my mind. How do we introduce them, when do we introduce them, will I be out of it if we bring him to the hospital, how is Greyson going to react. We decided to bring him to the hospital the same day of delivery, despite how I was feeling, and it was the cutest moment in my entire life. I think Greyson was overcoming pink eye at the time, but we didn’t care. And it’s a video we will forever cherish, and looking back wish we would have recorded Greyson’s birth as well. 

Wishing you all a safe, healthy, and happy pregnancy! And don’t forget your hospital bag, and here’s our checklist. 
XOXOXO, Brigette & Morgan