Hey guys, Noah here.
So I guess it’s safe to say I am the black sheep of the family.
It’s not in every aspect but I don’t think my siblings and I could be any more alike but at the same time different, call it a case of Jekyll and Hyde. We just took very different paths in life, which is the presentation that my sister recently gave to a group of classrooms in a middle school in the Minneapolis Metropolitan area. I have two siblings that are uber-successful and I am a complete failure, or at least that is what I was on track to be, and I know it’s not too late to rewrite that narrative, but for now, it’s the reality.
I didn’t do myself any favors out the gate as I found myself in legal issues as early as the age of 15, with my first of many underage consumption of alcohol violations.
My sister has always been in serious relationships throughout high school and college, and I think my brother married his 2nd girlfriend, and I am still looking for my second “real” relationship at the age of 34. I was way too wild and not nearly as reserved as my siblings.
I didn’t live by my parents’ rules. Whether that was sneaking out, having girls sleepover, or moving in with them later in life, all things my siblings respected or at least talked to our parents before actions were taken.
A career path was never really on my mind or made a major priority. I did everything for all the wrong reasons. I went to college to party, I worked only if I needed more money to supply my habits.
I cared too little what people thought about me, and eventually ruined my image, while my sister and brother were both solidifying theirs. I was living life like tomorrow might not come, and that was because every night could have been my last, because of my lack of caution.
Now they both have successful businesses and careers and the closest I came to matching their success was becoming the leader of a criminal organization called “Operation Noah’s Ark.” A federal indictment filled with a string of addicts that were simply enabling each other to get higher and higher until everyone was broke and eventually incarcerated.
It wasn’t a very successful endeavor as all the money I made I squandered away and ended up broke, owing plenty of people money, and leaving Minneapolis practically homeless.
My siblings both got married and had kids. I never had plans to get married and had no concerns about getting anyone pregnant, and that is probably why I had my daughter first, out of wedlock, even though I was the baby of the family.
My daughter Melrose ended up being the only positive thing that came out of my chaos, and I can’t wait to be a part of her life again and pray I never go back to my old ways. One day she will be reading these posts and by then I’m going to make sure she is so proud of me and that nothing she reads will sway her perspective about me. She is my main reason for doing these blogs, and I know some of them are more than she might want to know, but just in case she does, the truth will always be available to her.
I guess I could let all this get me down, but I don’t.
I could even hate and despise my siblings for their successes and let this hold me back, but I won’t.
I was just talking to my buddy, Ben, about the rise and fall of his success and he said he lost almost every friend he had when he started making money. I guess money has a funny way of changing people or at least the way people look at you when you start to make it.
I couldn’t imagine holding someone’s success against them but I guess it’s the reality and others’ success can simply make someone else feel inadequate, and then force them away.
I couldn’t be prouder of my siblings, Jesse and Morgan, and I would say they inspire me to get out and do something with my life, rather than continue to throw it away.
Both of them wrote me character letters, Morgan shared hers on the blog and as I stated in one post my brother Jesse’s hit me hard. My brother laid out clear expectations for me when I get home, concerns of the people I will bring around their family that could hurt them (I broke down in group sharing this part). He also said he is prepared to cut me out if I don’t meet those expectations. I thank him for the tough love and love him even more for being so honest. That’s exactly the kind of guy I need in my life upon release.
I guess this is easy for me to say and I am lucky that I still have siblings that support me even though I have given them every reason not to.
I mentioned earlier that my siblings and I are also very alike. We have similar personalities, we are all outgoing and loving, we aren’t afraid to display our emotions and we give our time, money, and energy generously.
We all are all a little afraid of confrontation, even though I try to act like I am tough and it doesn’t bother me, but it scares the shit out of me.
We are all more than willing to bend over backward and help out anyone who needs it, and even some that don’t.
I guess these are all the reasons why they haven’t given up on me yet.
And I know they never will.
And I will do everything in my power to not give them any more reasons to question my choices.
Moving forward, I will try to be more like my siblings and use those characteristics that we have in common to make better life choices.
Jesse and Morgan, you are two of the best siblings that any black sheep could ever wish to have in their lives, and I love both of you.
And if you’re the black sheep like me, maybe take a deeper look into the characteristics and choices you’re siblings have and have made to lead them to where they have gotten. And I bet you have some of those characteristics too, so I suggest like I’m about to do…let’s get over our weaknesses and start doubling down on those strengths we all have.
Thanks for listening!