Is it only in prison when people ask you how much weight have you lost, and then someone tells you you are getting fat, both in the same day?
That’s what it’s like in prison.
People teasing people. All day, everyday. And that negative energy can have a pull on you.
Hey guys, Noah here back again to talk about something we’ve never talked about before… the effect of incarceration and the insecurities it brings out in you. Like actual weight, for example.
Some choose to comment and some choose to keep it to themselves.
But one thing for sure is, everyone is watching.
Routine is our life in here and anything that breaks it up, some think is evil (or it’s a chance to do something differently and then you have that much more judgment against you). If you stick to your routine, you’ll simply fly under everyone’s radar.
Not just weight, but other things inmates obsess over…. and these go for themselves and others around them, as inmates we have a lot of time to think and a lot of time to observe others actions around them.
Some of those things are haircuts or the need for one, eating, sports techniques, workout techniques, the way people talk, prison fashion, tv shows, how you look going to visiting (ironed up and nice boots), the newest shoes and boots, the a/c unit, germ phobia, food, losing weight, gaining weight, the list goes on and on.
In prison, if you have insecurities, they will come out. And if they don’t, just wait, other fellow inmates will find something for you to be insecure about. And soon you’ll be insecure about something.
I would consider myself a fairly secure person. But I still can’t help but be irritated when you hear something negative about yourself regularly.
Just the other day in the TV room they were talking about insecurities on TV, and the guy in front of me turned around and said, Noah, you don’t have any insecurities do you?
So now you can guess where the topic came up and why I’m talking about this today.
And I turned to my buddy who knows my insecurities well and told him to just say it, and he goes, “Hey, Yo, Big Head.”
In prison, there are no boundaries; this is because you can say pretty much anything in here and get away with it. So it only encourages people to continue with the chaos and negativity. On a regular basis.
I guess that’s why my sister keeps saying, I need to surround myself with good energy while I’m in here. I wish I could hear that from her on a regular basis.
From the inside,
Noah
Awesome read Noah! I’ll start by Congratulating you on completing the Drug Recovery Program, that’s huge and I’m happy for you!
I hope in your writings you let us in on the “perks” such as use of computer, phone use, you mentioned ironing, and boots, etc… what is issued, required? What items can you purchase? How does canteen work? In Rec what equipment is available. How many cell mates to you have in your cell, and how many have come and gone?
These are a few of my curiosities. I work as a Corrections Officer in our County and often hear inmates say, “Prison is way easier”! Last question is how often are cell searches and pat downs done?
I am proud of your insights, and writings and know that in some way these must be therapeutic for you but I feel like you letting us in on your incarceration will give us a better understanding of confinement. Sometimes we judge, as an example “they don’t serve enough time”! Sometimes time is the biggest and harshest punishment!
I look forward to more “inside” blog stories! Thank you for letting us in and for your raw honesty!
Until next time,
Deaune